Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Today was seriously not a good day for me. Its one of the miserable days of my life. First thing in the morning there was an announcement made by Mr Ong about our release of our Mt O'level results. The whole sec 4e5n kept quiet when listening to his announcement as they were all curious about the timing. So Mr Ong told the school that the release of the result would be after recess and I was so geared up for it. So we went back to class and lesson continued like normal. Recess, had a large meal because I was excited to get my results. After recess 4e5n had to go up to the hall. Mr Ong gave his talk about the exam drawing near thingy. One thing about his talk is that it really struct me hard. I felt scared and full of regret. So when he was done talking, our results was handed out one by one. So I waited for few minutes until Ms Ng gave me the paper. When I saw my result, I was so angry!!! I felt so dissapointed. It feels as though all the thoughts of me having a bad future came at once.(I dunt even know what im writing) at first I thought it was ok. Then when I kept thinking about my frends results compared to mine, almost all of them did better than me. I felt so sad and frustrated and then with no reason I started crying. I felt so stupid not trying my very best for the O levels. It was my future!!! This thoughts made me feel more depress by the second. I quickly went to the toilet. Yan Quan and Syafiq accompanied me to the toilet. They were trying to comfort me.(imagine me, a guy needs comforting) I washed my face over and over again looking myself in the mirror. I told my self that is was not the end yet. I told myself that if I start now I can change everything. After I went out to the toilet I felt more relax. I knew that im gonna start studying from now on.
So when we went back to class, It was english. I felt so demoralised and felt unmotivated to take my English oral. First thing Keith ask me when I took my seat, he asked me." Helmi are you okay? relax k? ". My reaction was, Omg!! did he knew I cried. Then I tried to hide myself. Then Syafiqah saw me then she ask me about the same thing. That was soo embarassing to me. I quickly sleep(pretended to sleep). Then I woke up again carried on practicing my oral. I had no time sleep or even feel sad. I kept motivating myself. After english lesson I went to find Claire because when I see her it makes me happy. But Syasya told me that she was feeling ill and did not come to school. I was like, argh!!( Miss her alot).
So we went into the hall and I waited for my turn to do my oral. For the first time in my life doing oral, I never stop talking. I kept talking and talking. I wanted to feel better soo i talked and talked non- stop. The passage was easy(to me) same goes for the picture and conversation. When I walked out of the exam hall, I felt confident of myself.After that I went down to the canteen. Discussed with Harun,Haizal, Hafez and Yassin about oral. I think all of them did pretty well.
Soon it was 4p.m. I joined Tutik and Izikeil to study. We shared stories and had a few laughs amongst each other. I felt better and better. So we went home and here I am writing this entry.
I learned something today:
The earlier u start, the better. Do no wait until the last moment.
Or u will regret it for ur whole life!
This goes for all the graduating class
